Amy's- -voice
Amy + Rayaan
Holding a worm
“He held a worm for the first time. He were so scared to do it and I were scared to touch it but, it’s in my garden so I just went, I put it on his hand and then he were liking it, he were playing with it.”
Amy became a mother aged 26, the pregnancy was a surprise. Her son, Rayaan is 6 years old and the two of them live together with their dog.
Amy had poor mental health before becoming a mother and she credits Rayaan with turning her life around. Rayaan and Amy love playing games and having fun together.
Amy receives lots of support from school and her best friend who lives nearby.
“I’ve got a good bond, good relationship with him. Young mums are not all they make us out to be. I don’t even let ‘em walk over my path. I let ‘em go. People like that, they just, they look down on you, they’re not worth it.
You get loads a’ people looking down on you. And I don’t know if it’s looking down, you know, cause I’m young or is it cause my son’s got race in him and I’m white. But I don’t know what it is but yeah I do get looks. But I just let it go over my ‘ead cause who are they, who are they to judge me?
Young mums can do it and it’s not all about these old, older ones who have more experience. And there shouldn’t be no fingers pointing or owt like that. We should be, all classed the same and they should treat us all the same. Cause we’re no different. Just cause of an age gap, they were young once and they were that age once.”
School support
“Well school have put it in place and obviously it’s a bit better but he’s six but he’s got a mind of a two and a half year old. So he is like learning difficulty side but school are putting stuff in place and getting him where he should be.
They help with anything, I just have to ring them. And normally it’s meant to be just to do with your kids innit and stuff but Miss Fish and everyone did a, I don’t know, they’re so caring. Even if they see me in t’ playground they’ll make sure I’m alright. And I’m like, ‘yeah I’m fine [laughs]. I’m alright’.
And if I’m confused about anything, like letters or anything like that, I’ll just ring up and just ask if they can explain or help me in any way. There’s loads a’ them that help me.”
Playing with water
“And he likes to play with water. And I thought, cause he splashes it all over the place. My, my bathroom were flooded at the end of it but he had fun! He had fun and that’s what I seen as that he were having fun.
If he gets in that bath he won’t get out a’ that bath for two hours later or summat. he’ll shoot me with the water gun and stuff!”
My son
“Seeing him smile makes me smile. It makes me happy. We do everything together when, he’s never not by my side unless he’s at school. He’s there with me all the time. He’s like my little shadow.
Oh he’s too energetic, crazy, happy. Bundle a’ joy and just loves life. It makes me proud when I see pictures like that. It just makes me think… as if I’m his mum. The cuddles and the love. It just melts my heart and seeing him happy.
I’d just like to wrap him up in cotton wool and keep him safe. I enjoy everything, doing everything with him. If he wants me to do it with him I’ll do it”
Becoming a mum
“It was scary cause I didn’t find out till 28 week. It weren’t planned or owt like that. But then when, obviously when he were here it just turned me life around.
I suffered, I suffered with mental health since I were 14. I only got put on to my tablets when I was 17. I’ve been on them ever since.
But I was in a bad way before I had my son. And then the minute I found out at 28 week it just…hit me differently. But if it weren’t for him I don’t know where I’d be, I really don’t. It’s him that changed me.”
“He’s made an octopus out of his playdoh. He loves playing with stuff like that so he ended up making a octopus. So I thought, when he made it I were like, ‘that’s ace’. How have you learned that [laughs]? Cause I wouldn’t have thought a’ that.
He absolutely loves cars. He’s got one a’ them imaginations when you use your own fingers and stuff. t’s like he’ll use a teddy but he’ll use his fingers with teddy [laughs]. But I’ve got my teddies from being a baby myself and I’ve passed them on to Rayaan.
My living room is always full a’ toys. I’ve got a spare room that I call a toy room cause it’s full a’ toys. It’s his toy room and then he’s got his own bedroom. So it’s like, and there’s toys in there too. So it’s just non stop toys.”
What other support would help?
“There could be support in like helping us young mums getting us in the right direction of where we want to be. Or like in, if we want, where we wanna be, go to work or summat and like getting pointed in the right direction of that sense. They should, they should be helping young mums and young kids with housing and stuff.
With me universal credits and I get disability for Rayaan. But it’s still, it’s still a struggle, it really is. I get community kitchen foodbank people. The school rang them for me.”
Challenges of being a lone-mother
"It can be hard but what can you do, what else can you do? He’s my son, he’s only got me. So I have to do it. Cause if I don’t do it, who’s gonna do it really?
Like if I’m, not well, like I have been for the past two week and I’ve had to still get up and do everything to bring him to school and get, everything. Still doing everything till late on cause it, sometimes he just won’t sleep and he’s just so hyper. But it’s got to, I’ve got to do it.”
